It's like warm apple pie!
Uhhh huh huh, i love you Beavis
Hi Mom!!!
Let me help you out the door $0...
Looky $0, i can be lame too!!(!@(#!#
Kill me now before i do it myself
God, I just can't stop!!!!!
Someone help me, I think i've lost control
Hmmmm...someone send me some random kill reasons
This is just the beginning $0...
BitchX Baaaaabyyyy
Lamerz Control
Splatttz!!!!
[WREaKING HAVoC]
NuT KiX [SPLAt!]
HeY $0, K-MART HaS LiVES, CheAP!
Hey $0 I'm kinda HornY! Go GeT Yo BiTCH!!! 
By POPULAR VoTE $0!!! YoUR oUTTA HeRE!! Democracy R00LZ
FLASH iS LAME [/K is BeTTA]!!
[ExCeSS LAMENESS]
BUSTiNG CRAZY HAVoK oN iRC!!
$0 is so ugly, the only thing that makes him/her look good is distance.
On $0's birth certificate, under FATHER, it's signed "We the people."
Hey $0... is your daddy a farmer?  Cuz your mama's a HOG!
Yo momma's so ugly, she looked out from the car and got arrested for mooning!
Yo momma's so ugly, that BigFoot takes pictures of her!
Yo momma's so stupid, that she sits on the TV to watch the couch!
Yo momma's so fat, that when she jumped, she got stuck on the air!
Yo momma's like McDonald's, Have you had your break today?
ConfuseUs said: Man with no hanky, take matters to his own hands.
Yo momma's so ugly, the mirror slaps her in the face every morning!
ConfuseUs said: Man with woman at camping, the man has one in tent.
ConfuseUs said: Getting high in pot is very unsanitary.
ConfuseUs said: Man who fights woman, gets no peace at night.
ConfuseUs said: Man with itchy butt, has smelly fingers.
Yo momma's like McDonald's, Over One Million Served!
If my dog looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!
ConfuseUs said: Man with sex problem at night, wakes up with solution at hand.
ConfuseUs said: Man walking thru airport door sideways, is going to Bangkok
Yo momma's so ugly, her mom said What a treasure! and her dad Let's go bury it!
ConfuseUs said: Airplane flying upside down, makes passengers have crack-up.
Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a quarter and squeezed a bugger from Washington!
Yo momma's so fat, that when she walks by lumberjacks yell INCOMING!!!
Yo momma's so stupid, that she sold the car for gas money!
Yo momma's like a stamp, you lick her, stick her and then send her away!
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, birds don't get orgasms.
Yo momma's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!
ConfuseUs said: Man who eats jelly beans, farts in technicolor.
ConfuseUs said: Man who eats many prunes, sits in toilet many moons.
Sorrow paid for valor is too much to recall.
Destiny, the crooked schemer, says the dead shall rise again.
Demonic kink?
Missing kick?
Where do you go from here?
The end is finally here. God have mercy!
Sweet taste of vindication, It turns to ashes in $0's mouth.
If you're fighting to live, It's ok to die!
Blue sky, Black death, $0 is off to meet his maker!
Jump or die $0!
$0 is feeling claustrophobic, like the walls are closing in.
No escaping pain, $0 belongs to me.
I need a ride to the morgue, that's what 911 is for.
Born from the dark, in the black cloak of night.
Set the world Afire!!!
They said it'd never come, we knew it was a lie.
Time to kiss your ass goodbye, the end has just begun.
No time to change your fate, no time left, it's too late.
And if it comes, the living will envy the dead!
No one will be left to prove the humans existed.
We all live on one planet and it will all go up in smoke.
And now the final scene, a global darkening...
Einstein said `We'll use rocks on the other side'.
No Survivors!!!!!! Set the World Afire!!!!
I walk, I walk alone, into the promised land...
There's a better place for $0, but it's far, far away...
But the time has come when all good things shall pass.
I'm a child of the air, I'm a witch of the wind.
Lie, steal and cheat, $0 is a real bad guy
Perhaps $0 should try real life for awhile.
Rot in hell, it's time you know...to your master, off $0 go's!
/<rad link?
164
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
We do not count a man's years, until he has nothing left to count.
The land of the free and the home of the brave.
All art is but imitation of nature.
Beauty is a short-lived reign.
Early to bed, early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and rise.
I believe because it is impossible.
Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither.
They have learned nothing, and forgotten nothing.
Man shall not live by bread alone.
Am I my brother's keeper?
Things do not change, we change.
Character is what you are in the dark.
With malice toward none; with charity for all.
I came, I saw, I conquered. (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
Conscience is God's presence in man.
When we have not what we like, we must like what we have.
I am not an Athenian nor a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
God hates a quitter.
These are the times that try men's souls.
Under this standard shalt thou conquer.
I must be cruel, only to be kind.
In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo.
I shall curse you with book and bell and candle.
A man who knows the price of everything and the value if nothing.
My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle.
Marley was dead: to begin with... Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Let the dead bury their dead.
O Death! the poor man's dearest friend- The kindest and the best.
Account ye no man happy till he die.
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
O, what a tangle web we weave, When first we practice to deceive.
Millions for defense but not one cent for tribute.
After us the deluge!
The prince of darkness is a gentleman.
The better part of valour is discretion.
Distance lends enchancement to the view.
Candy   Is dandy   But liquor   Is quicker.
Here's to your health. May you live long and prosper.
Let us eat and drink; for to-morrow we shall die.
Other men live to eat, while I eat to live.
We have met the enemy and they are ours.
To err is human, to forgive divine.
Experience keeps a dear school, yet Fools will learn in no other.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
How are the mighty fallen!
Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds.
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
For ever, brother, hail and farewell.
The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
I have not yet begun to fight.
There is such a thing as a man being too proud to fight.
One catches more flies with a spoonful of honey than with 20 casks of vinegar.
The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
...fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us.
Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Fortune favors the bold.
I succeed him; no one could replace him.
I never think of the future, It comes soon enough.
Genius is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration.
It is more blessed to give than receive.
Do unto others, as ye would have done unto you.
Goverment of the people, by the people, for the people.
No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent.
Any fool can make a rule  And every fool will mind it.
We must all hang together, else we shall all hang separately.
Haste makes waste.
The descent to hell is easy.
What is history but a fable agreed upon?
When faith is lost, when honor dies, The man is dead!
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
Hope springs eternal.
A horse! A horse! my kingdom for a horse!
The best sauce for food is hunger.
Hypocrisy is the homage which vice pays to virtue.
Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
To desire immortality is to desire the eternal perpetuation of a great mistake.
He travels the fastest who travels alone.
To do injustice is more disgraceful than to suffer it.
I can endure my own despair, But not another's hope.
Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how.
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
The administration of justice is the firmest pillar of government.
The King is dead. Long live the King!
He laughs best that laughs last.
Necessity has no law; I know some attorneys of the same.
A liar needs a good memory.
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.
Life is just one damned thing after another.
Love conquers all.
Though this be madness, yet there is a method in't.
Man is the measure of all things.
Like cures like. (Similia similbus curantur)
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
There is no greater sorrow than to recall, in misery, the time when we were happy.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary...
Might makes right.
Misery loves company.
Money is like an arm or a leg - Use it, or lose it.
Yet each man kills the thing he loves.
My name is Legion: for we are many.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Take thy beak from out my heart and take thy form from off my door!
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.
A place for everything, and everything in its place.
To meet, to know, to love - and then to part, Is the sad tale of many a heart.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
For country, children, hearth, and home.
Peace with honor.
Peace at any price.
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Pleasure's a sin, and sometimes sin's a pleasure.
Whats's one man's poison, is another's meat or drink.
Possesion is nine points of the law.
There are only 2 families in the world, the Haves, and the Have Nots.
Practice yourself what you preach.
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
Unto the pure all things are pure.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
The heart has reasons of which reason has no knowledge.
I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.
Religion... Is the opium of the people.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.
Every revolution was first a thought in one man's mind.
Workers of the world, unite!
What animal goes on 4 legs in the morning, 2 at noon, and 3 in the evening?
Any road leads to the end of the world.
Rome was not built in a day.
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.
Seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone.
If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong.
Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary.
There are 3 kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
I teach you the Superman. Man is something which shall be surpassed.
...in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Taxation without representation is tyranny.
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
I think, therefore I am. (Cogito, ergo sum)
In the dark backward and abysm of time.
One from many. (E pluribus unum)
United we stand, divided we fall.
All for one, one for all.
To see the world in a grain of sand.
Woe to the vanquished! (Vae victis!)
Everything comes to those who wait.
Water, water every where. Nor any drop to drink.
We never know the worth of water, till the well is dry.
Go West, young man, and grow up with the country.
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
By thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Half the world does not know how the other half lives.
stop in the name of all that which does not suck
i am the great cornholio!
i need tp for my bunghole!
uh huhuhuhuh... this is cool.
go away, we're like closed or something
are you threatening me?
preach on, brother $0
that was like... stupid or something
i'm gettin a stiffie
go away... we're like closed or something
share your feelings with the channel
beavis, sucks isn't even a strong enough word to describe $0
shut up. fartknocker.
You're a seminephrious tubloidial buttnoid!
What's your problem $0?  Like settle down...
Looks like some kinda bumsnoidial buttsnoid. yeah yeah.. huh huh.
Pic your own asso
huhuhuhh... $0 is worm food.
and later that afternoon, you touched yoursef in an impure manner again with a bottle of hand lotion
on the 3rd day of the 4th month of your 12th year, you touched yourself in an impure manner
look.. huhuhu... $0's fallen and can't get it up
go play leapfrog with a unicorn
okluvyabubye
help control the lamer population: have your $0's spayed or neutered
Burn.
I am the silencing machine.
I've got a little surprise for you...
now doesn't that make you feel better?
Suck.
irc is like a box of chocolates.. you never know what you're gunna get
shit happens...
that's all i have to say about $0
stupid is as $0 does
and that's 'bout all you can do with shrimp
Yo momma's so poor, she goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers!
Yo momma's so stupid, she tripped over her cordless phone!
Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob to help his unemployment!
Yo momma's so fat, I saw the back of her neck and thought I was in a library!
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into Taco Bell everyone runs for the border!
Yo momma's so fat she's protected by Green Peace!
Yo momma's so fat she uses a VCR for a pager!
Yo momma's so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice!
Yo momma's like a doorknob: everyone gets a turn
I saw your momma kicking a can down the street.  I asked her what she was doin and she said 'movin!'
Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money!
Yo momma's so fat her nickname is DAMN!!
Yo momma's so ugly, animals at the zoo feed her!
Yo momma's so stupid, she went around telling all her friends that her husband was important when he couldn't get it up
YO MAMA is so fat that when she went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to drag her fat ass back into the ocean.
Yo mama's ass is so fat that when she backs up, it makes BEEP BEEP noises!
Yo mama is so fat she has to wear two watches 'cause she's in two : different time zones.
I would have been your father but the damn dog beat me over the fence!
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to _everyone_.
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she walks.
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she got a spoon!
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Huked on Fonics."
Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma like a 7-11. Open all night and it's 49 cents for a slurpee
Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
Yo momma so old that when God said let there be light, she hit the switch'
Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a cheeseburger on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags.  I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo momma so short she poses for trophies!
Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!
Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt.
Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo momma so nasty she brings her own crabs to the beach
Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo momma so nasty that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot takes her picture!
Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs."
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind
Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!
Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!
You were born out of your mother's ass 'cos her cunt was too busy.
Yo momma so wrinkled, she can to screw her hat on.
Yo momma twice the man you are.
Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.
Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Yo momma so black that when she went to night school, the teacher marked her absent
i wish i was a little bit taller...
I got the pac man fever pac man fever driving me crazy
the kick with the grown up taste
*blam!* yeah, beeyaaaach. I poped a cap in yo' ass!
kerplunk!